I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
