We're facebook friends in real life
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
