No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
