this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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