And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
