So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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