hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
