I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
