sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
