just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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