nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
