Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
