don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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