I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
