omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
zippers are such a cool invention
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
