The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
