What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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