Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We're facebook friends in real life
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
