Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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