just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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