Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
