the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
