oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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