Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
