happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
