I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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