You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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