I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
