I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
