naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
