I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
