Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
