If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
