atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
