I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
