Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
