What a fucking waste of an outfit
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
