I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
