remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
