I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
