Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
