her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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