The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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