First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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