I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
