I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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