its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
