You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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