Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
