Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just remember telling jokes while vomitting

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(205): View more from Alabama

just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.

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(301): View more from Maryland

we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"

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(419): View more from Ohio

I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday

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(856): View more from New Jersey

So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.

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(937): View more from Ohio

And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.

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