He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
