Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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