Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
